A Love Chosen Twice: My Story for National Adoption Month

National Adoption Month has always been close to my heart. It’s a time to celebrate families built by love, faith, and choice, and for me, it’s a reminder of how adoption shaped my life in the most beautiful way.

I was adopted at birth, and while my story may look a little different from others, it’s the foundation of who I am. My parents chose me from the very beginning, and that kind of love runs deep. It’s the kind of love that shows you family isn’t just about where you came from, but about who shows up, who stays, and who chooses you every single day.

The Questions People Ask

Being adopted means I’ve heard it all.

“Do you ever want to meet your real parents?”

“Do you feel different from your family?”

“Do you ever wonder who you look like?”

I get those questions more often than you’d think, and honestly, I don’t mind. They usually come from curiosity, not judgment. The truth is yes to some of those questions. Sometimes I wonder, and that’s just a natural human reaction. There are days when I think about the “what ifs.”

But at the same time, I’ve always known that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’ve had friends ask me randomly or in deep conversations, “Do you ever want to meet your real parents?” When I was a kid, a high schooler, or even in my early 20s, I probably would’ve said, “Yeah sure, why not? That could be cool.”

Now I have a completely different outlook on it. If you were to ask me today, I’d say there’s absolutely no reason to, and I don’t say that out of hate or resentment. I say it because, besides sharing the same genetics or blood, I don’t have anything in common with those people.

I have real parents. My parents are the people who raised me, who loved me through thick and thin, who watched me grow up, and who shaped me into who I am today. The people who showed up for every game, every tear, and every laugh are my parents. They didn’t just give me a home; they gave me a purpose and a love that’s never once made me feel like I didn’t belong.

I’ve never felt different from my family. I actually found out I was adopted on my ninth birthday, and I was surprised honestly. My family is one big mix of people, and I’m beyond blessed for that. I not only have one of the coolest moms out there, but I’ve had the honor of having two amazing men in my life that I’ve been able to call Dad.

When my father Calvin passed away a month before my seventh birthday, it shook our world for a while. Even though I didn’t get to have a long time with him, my older sister still talks about him often, and his side of the family still tells me how proud my dad was when they brought me home. I’m proud to carry his last name and to have that little piece of him that will always be mine.

.A few years later, my mom started dating John, and he’s been in my life since I was eight or nine. It’s hard to say exactly when; it just feels like he’s always been there. With him came five older brothers and a younger sister, and they’ve all played a special part in my story.

People sometimes get confused when I call him Dad instead of stepdad, but to me, there’s no “step” about it. He’s always been there for me, and that kind of love makes you feel chosen, seen, and deeply loved.

And to answer the question, “Do I ever wonder who I look like?” No, not really. I think it’s pretty cool that I kind of look like a mix of my mom and dad. All throughout middle and high school, people would tell me I looked just like my dad or my oldest brother, which always made my mom laugh and anyone who knew me, because truthfully, I’m not related to any of them by blood. But I am by love.

And I’ve never been treated any differently, even if I like to joke that they love the other kids more. Not true, of course. My mom had to pay for me, which makes me the most expensive kid!

The Harder Parts

But that doesn’t mean it’s always been easy. In my younger 20s, I struggled with identity, with where I fit in, and if I was truly enough. There were moments when I questioned my worth, wondering if being chosen meant I had to prove myself worthy of that choice. It took time and a lot of reflection to realize that my worth was never in question. Adoption didn’t make me less; it made me more.

Of course, growing up, there were jokes. In middle school and high school, people would say things like, “Okay, Orphan Annie,” which, yes, I had curly hair and maybe a hint of red in certain lighting, but come on, not very original. Haters, try again. I’ve been asked how much I cost more times than I can count, and honestly, those comments never really bothered me. I even made the jokes myself. I’d say things like, “I’m expensive, about the same price as a nice car or a down payment on a house,” or “I’m like a racehorse, my owners paid for me, and the older I get, the more money they’ve lost.”

My all-time favorite comeback, though, is when someone would ask why I’d let a man treat me like I’m cheap. I’d say, “Please, I’ve seen my receipt, I was expensive.” Unfortunately, I have actually said that to a man before. Wild.

But when I got to college, things started to hit differently. During my junior year, I went through a rough patch, which I’ve written about in another blog. It was a time when I struggled to find my self-worth. I started to feel pity for myself, wondering how people could truly love or even like me when the people who were supposed to didn’t want me. I’d ask myself how I was supposed to believe in myself when the two people who were meant to didn’t.

Eventually, I had to take myself out of that victim mindset and look at things from a wider perspective. Some people just aren’t meant to be parents. Some people can’t take on that responsibility at the time they need to. And while that used to hurt, I’ve learned to see it differently now. Those two people didn’t give me up, they gave me something they couldn’t provide.

They gave me my biggest blessings, my family and my life. For that, I thank them. They didn’t put me in a bad place, they gave me a chance for something better. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that some of the hardest decisions in life aren’t made for your own good but for someone else’s.

I couldn’t imagine my life any other way. Yes, I’ve had hard times, and yes, my family has too, but who hasn’t? I was given the coolest life because I was given the chance to thrive. And for that, I’ll always be thankful. They didn’t give up on me, they believed I deserved a chance at something better.

How Adoption Changed My View on Love

Adoption taught me that love isn’t possession; it’s compassion. It’s understanding that sometimes the people who love you most are the ones who found you later in life. It’s realizing that family isn’t limited to genetics and that love, when it’s genuine, doesn’t need an explanation.

Because of adoption, I love deeper. I’m more patient. I value connection over perfection. I know how much it means to be chosen, and I try to extend that same grace to others to make people feel seen, wanted, and loved for exactly who they are.

As I got into college, I realized that love isn’t just about blood or who you’ve known the longest. It’s about the people who feel like family and become your family along the way. I’ve been blessed not only to be chosen by my family but also to be chosen by others. I’ve had the privilege of going to women besides my mom and being able to call them my second moms. I’ve been welcomed into multiple families, and I’ll never forget the times I’ve been introduced to someone new as “our adopted daughter.”

It means something. It’s special to be loved by so many different people and to love them back like family because that’s what I was taught. Love isn’t transactional. It’s not based on blood or genetics. It’s about the people who choose you every day, who invite you into their lives, who let you see the good, the bad, and the ugly, who sit with you when you’re crying, and who celebrate your biggest wins right alongside you.

I was taught this by my family, my parents, my sister, and my brothers. My parents taught me to love openly because they showed me that love isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being yourself and loving others the same way they’ve loved me.

My family didn’t have to love me. They didn’t have to raise me the way they did. My friends didn’t have to be my friends. Their families didn’t have to bring me in the way they did, but they did. And why? Because they chose to. They chose to love big, and I believe the world could use a little more of that.

I hope that I’m even half the person the people in my inner circle are, because if I am, then I’m doing good. Through this experience in life, I truly hope it’s changed me for the better, and I hope I can bring that same kind of love, that same feeling of being chosen, to people who need it too.

A Message to Anyone Who’s Adopted (or Loves Someone Who Is)

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t quite fit, please know this: you were never a mistake. You were a miracle in motion, chosen, loved, and meant for exactly where you are now. Adoption isn’t just a story about being taken in; it’s about being brought home.

To anyone who’s adopted, I hope you know how incredibly special you are. You are proof that love can find you no matter what. You were chosen on purpose, and that choice speaks louder than anything else ever could.

I celebrate National Adoption Month because I’m not only proud but truly honored to be adopted. I wasn’t just wanted; I was chosen, and that’s something I carry with me every day. My story reminds me that love can take many forms and that family isn’t always about how you start, but about who walks beside you along the way.

Being adopted has taught me that the greatest kind of love is the one that chooses you over and over again. It’s the love that builds you up even when life feels uncertain. It’s the love that reminds you that you were never forgotten, never too late, and never too much.

If you’re reading this, whether you’re adopted, know someone who is, or simply love the idea of what family can look like, I hope my story reminds you that love is the real foundation of it all. I wouldn’t change a single part of my journey because it led me exactly where I’m meant to be, surrounded by the people who chose me and continue to choose me every day.